All free souls were once trapped.
I know I am, yet I do not know who I am. How do we define ourselves? What makes us who we are? When do we discover our true selves? Why do we want to know who we are? These are just some of the questions that refuse to escape my mind. I know it is probably ridiculous to wonder aimlessly about concepts which shall never be answered - but isn’t that the point of philosophy? Isn’t it that rather than searching for answers we should be looking for the right questions to ask?
I am dying to leave everything I have behind and set off on an adventure with nothing but my music and the road. My whole body is itching with desire to escape the routined life ahead of me and embark on mysteries and tremendous travels. I want to walk all day and fall asleep under the stars, only to wake to the sunrise and the sound of morning glory. I would rather be anywhere but here. I feel the soul being sucked out of me with every page I turn and every face I see - I am not happy. And I am certainly not okay.
Yet it seems to be that whenever I am faced with a situation in which I am forced to socialise (ew!), I cannot help but put on my face. The face by which everyone knows me: a happy face. The years have turned me into an impeccable actress to the point where I have learnt to fool myself. Sometimes I still believe that I am happy. And then, once every full moon, a single tear forms in the corner of my eye reminding me of how I really feel. Why can’t I just be? It seems as though allowing myself to be happy is truly the hardest thing in the world.
And so I hope. I hope that one day I will have enough courage to stop whatever I am doing and leave. It does not matter where I go, as long as I am going. Nor I do not care why I walk, as long as I am walking. And I do not even care about where I end up, as long as I am on the right path. A path paved with hopes and dreams, upon which I can lightly tread and see the world in rose-coloured glasses. To live in a world where I do not need a watch or a single concern, that is what truly drives us to happiness.
I know I am trapped for now, but that does not mean I am not trying to break free.
